Medieval Tours in India

Activity level: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

Modes of transportation: 🚗👟

We got packed and picked up in the morning for our drive to Jaipur. Eric saw a small bug on the seat, but the guide wiped it off (definitely still infested, but Sarah didn’t see so it was all good for now).

We weren’t sure what to expect with the “Red Fort” it was just part of our tour package. Then we pulled up to this incredible medieval fortress, complete with a moat that used to hold 🐊 and 🐯.

First stop: the Red Fort of Agra. This was where the kings of the 1500s lived, as well as the prison of the King Shah Jahan, who built the Taj Mahal. Footnote: the story goes that the king’s son was unhappy that he was spending all the money on the Taj Mahal, so he killed his siblings and imprisoned his father to take over. Family squabbles am I right?

This was the second entrance inside the moat. The scale of these grounds were crazy. The Military of India occupies about 40% of the fort, but the rest of the grounds are open to the public.

Our guide was the same from the day before, and he did a fantastic job at telling us all the history of the palace. This king was a believer in knowledge, so he had three legitimate (they had to differentiate) wives of each of the major religions: Hinduism, Islam, and Judaism (though our guide told us that most guides will say Christianity, even though there are stars of David everywhere instead of crosses). That way, he could learn as much knowledge as possible about the major religions. He also thought that all religions were different looks at the same God—pretty progressive for the time.

You ever play video games where they roll giant boulders down walled castles to squash the enemy? Well apparently that’s what this path was for – they would literally roll boulders down to stop enemies from approaching. That was if they had crossed the crocodile invested moat and survived the tigers in the outer grounds. No wonder this castle is still standing!

The architecture and decoration of the palace was also amazing. The Taj Mahal is usually visible from the fort, but unfortunately it was too smoggy that day.

Online photo showing an arial view of some of the grounds. You can see the dried-up moat and where we room the above photo.

This is where the “Maidens” would spend time overlooking the land beyond the castle walls.

Once we left there, we were shuttled to an embroidery shop to see some things (these guides definitely get commissions, but it’s interesting to see the artwork anyway). We just looked around and enjoyed the art (and they let Sarah take pictures despite the “no pictures” signs everywhere). We left fairly quickly without buying anything, and the shopkeeper looked visibly annoyed.

Warning: tour guides in India will send (force) you to “demonstrations” that are “relevant” to the site you just visited by showing the classical techniques passed down through generations (allegedly). Everything will have a huge markup on it, and they will hard-sell you and be upset if you don’t buy anything. Sometimes it’s cool to see the demonstrations but it can be emotionally exhausting after a long tour.

We dropped off our guide, tipped him fairly decently; and headed back on the road for Jaipur.

Stopped for lunch on the way to Fatenpur Sikri.

We drove for an hour or two before arriving at our destination: Fatehpur Sikri, where the capital was moved by Akbar, the grandfather of the guy who built the Taj Mahal. Honestly, we didn’t have the best time with our guide here.

This was a fort in a small village on the road to Jaipur.

He got kind of annoyed at us because we paid for our bus tickets with 500 rupee notes (what we got out of the ATM). Then he got extra annoyed when we paid for the entrance into the palace with more 500 rupee notes even though he knew we had change (from the bus). We found we never had enough change in India for tips, so we tried to get it when we could. Not sure why the guide was upset.

Also, most guides say not to buy anything, and he did too; but he was by far the most aggressive at helping the hawkers around the monuments. It also turned out to be pretty empty, so the street vendors were very persistent at following us (sometimes 100 meters) yelling prices and shoving cheap souvenirs in our face. Not our favorite.

This fort had some beautiful architecture.

The palace itself was fascinating! It was built in the early 1500s. The king also built three different palaces for his three different wives, thought we only went through 2 of them. We had to laugh because the Muslim one was tiny—no more than 500 square feet— though very ornate. The Hindu one (which, to be fair, is the one who “gave” him 14 children) was thousands of square feet, with courtyards and fountains.

The king’s bed. Yes it is made out of pure sandstone and bigger than a NYC studio. It had to be sturdy for his many wives (direct quote of our guide).

We also went to the mausoleum of the king’s holy priest (who was well-liked because he promised the king a son), and we basically got scammed into buying this fabric thing for 500 rupees to lay on the tomb. Eric was pretty annoyed about it, since our guide basically forced us into it (we knew it was a scam before it happened, but we couldn’t get away). Either way, at least the tomb was cool.

Forced to wish: our guide insisted we pay 500 rupees (~$6) to a street vendor to make 3 wishes. I guess we’ll see if they come true. Being cornered by our own guide was not on our bingo card.

At the end, we didn’t tip our guide too much because we didn’t like his service. He looked pissed, and yelled something at our driver as we were leaving; but our driver didn’t seem too concerned.

From there, we started driving to Jaipur to end the night. We went to the tour office to pay the remaining balance, and it was all good.

It was fairly uneventful right until the sun went down. Then, like gremlins, the roaches attacked.

Eric kept the seat lit to discourage more cockroaches from coming out at night. That mostly worked.

We ended up smashing about 4 medium ones, and our driver started freaking out.

Eric killed this one on the back of our driver’s seat, while he navigated us through the lawless Indian traffic. It was… an experience.

He was from Jaipur and knew all the spots, so he dropped us off a great restaurant (not a regular tour one) with a traditional Rajasthani dance show while he figured out the car situation. He also seemed like he felt bad, so he told us to waive off the extra tour guide stuff the next day (like the shops) and he’d guide us around instead. Can he do that? Who knows.

While there, Sarah asked a guy next to us where he was from (he was writhing in pain from eating too much spicy food), and he said “California”. Specifically, San Diego, though he was born in PG County Maryland. Small world! He was in the navy, temporarily in the reserves, and he was traveling to India as his 109th country (his goal was 120). Honestly, he was just one of those guys who every story that comes out of his mouth is ridiculous and surprising (like the time he nearly got kidnapped in Thailand, but that’s too long of a story for this blog).

Conrad—wherever you are, thanks for brightening our day and saving our trip!

The restaurant also gave us this after-dinner treat—star-anise and cane sugar rock. Sarah loved it!

So after that entertaining dinner, we headed back to the hotel. We left our bags outside the door for a little while to make sure we didn’t track any roaches in, and we relaxed. Our driver assured us that he was going to spray the roaches, so we were hoping it would be all good the next morning.

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